Calvin and Hobbes: Mission Sugar Rush
by Sleepytiger541
Summary: Calvin and Hobbes try to reach a the cookie jar, which has been placed on a much higher shelf.
1. Prologue

Calvin and Hobbes: Mission Sugar Rush (Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes)  
  
Chapter 1: Prologue  
  
As soon as Calvin walked into the kitchen, a wonderful smell filled his nose. "Hey, Mom, what are you cooking?" he asked his Mom, who was taking a baking sheet out of the oven. "Some chocolate chip cookies," she replied. 


	2. The Trap

Calvin and Hobbes: Mission Sugar Rush  
  
(Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes.)  
  
Chapter 1: Prologue  
  
Rosalyn, Calvin's babysitter, ran through the house in panic, looking for him and Hobbes. "Come on, you little twerp! Quit hiding! I told you that it was time to go to bed!" Oh my gosh, she thought, if this little brat is missing, his parents will kill me! Calvin had disappeared twenty minutes ago without a trace. "Oh, man! If I let him get kidnapped, I'll be thrown in jail!" she said. Beads of sweat began to break out on her forehead. She stuck her head in every room, calling his name. "Calvin! Where are you? Answer me, darn it!" she yelled. "If this is just some joke, you're going to be in big trouble!"

"Help me! Help me!" said a voice. "I'm stuck in here! Get me out!"

Rosalyn gasped. "Calvin? Where are you? Are you OK?" She tried to follow the sound of the voice, like a hound following a trail.

"Help me! Help me!" the voice continued to plead. "I'm in the closet, and the door is stuck. Please get me out!"

"The closet!" shouted Rosalyn. What if he was on the verge of suffocating or something? She ran down the hall and wrenched open the door. Without hesitating, she dug through all of the stuff. Winter boots, fallen jackets, and all kinds of boxes went flying every which way. "Calvin, are you hurt? Are you OK?" She hoped he wasn't hurt. The money for the bill would probably come out of her pay.

Rosalyn scooted farther into the closet. "I'm coming, Calvin. Everything's going to be OK!" But still, it seemed Calvin continued to cry for help. Rosalyn jumped as the door suddenly slammed shut behind her. Who did that?

"Help! Help me!" he continued to call. Rosalyn started to look farther into the closet, but a sudden laughing suprised her yet again.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was brilliant, Hobbes! She fell right into our trap! HAHAHAHA!" It was Calvin.

"What the...?" Rosalyn dug deeper into the closet, following the cries for help. She pulled something up. It was a little tape player. She took out the tape and read the label:

"Stuck in closet" tape. Property of club G.R.O.S.S

Realizing instantly what had happened, she tried the closet door. It was locked. "CALVIN! You sneaky little drip! Let me out NOW!"

"No way, dragon lady! Come on, Hobbes. Let's go raid the snack cabinet. Then we'll play with Rosalyn's new cell phone!"

"Oh no, you won't, you conniving brat! I have my cell phone right here in my purse! And I'm going to call your Mom and Da- HEY! It's gone!"

"Looking for THIS?" Calvin said, putting Rosalyn's phone to the door as it began to ring.

"How did you get my phone? Is that Charlie? CHARLIE! THIS TWERP'S HOLDING ME HOSTAGE IN THE CLOSET!"

"Don't bother, Roz. It's not him. As a matter of fact, I don't think Charlie will be calling you any more, not after I told him about your new boyfriend, "Rich".

"Rich? I don't know a Rich!You horrible little theif! Let me out of this closet!" Rosalyn shook the doorknob.

"Hello, Videorama? I'd like to order a VCR and some videos, please," said Hobbes, as they walked down the hallway.


	3. The Punishments

Calvin and Hobbes: Mission Sugar Rush (Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes, or the Chips Ahoy( and Oreo( cookie companies)  
  
Chapter 3: The Punishments  
  
Calvin sat on his bed with a scowl on his face. "This is terrible! Grounded for a week, just because we locked our evil babysitter in the closet." "Yeah, and we didn't even get to keep the movies and video player we ordered!" Hobbes complained as he tried to draw on Calvin's comic books without him seeing. "This is tyranny! We should sue! As a matter of fact, I'm going to go downstairs right now," said Calvin, hopping off of the bed, "and- UGGGHHHHH!" Calvin clutched his stomach. He quickly jumped back onto it. "Forgot about your stomach, huh?" said Hobbes. "Never again will I eat an entire package of Chips Ahoy( and Oreo( cookies," he moaned. "I feel like my stomach is going to explode!" He glanced at a container of chalky pink stomach medicine beside his bed. "O-R-E-O, ohh ohh," sang Hobbes. "That's right, rub it in, Hobbes. Just because you were too busy playing with Rosalyn's cell phone to eat anything." He growled. "That thing is so cool," he said. "It had twenty different rings to choose from! And I got in to her personal phone book and wrote down all of the numbers. Here." Hobbes handed him a piece of paper. "Awesome! Hurrah for Secret Agent Hobbes!" said Calvin. "Now, if only I could get to a phone..." Their conversation was cut short as the door opened. It was his Mom carrying a TV tray and a bowl of soup. "How's your stomach, Calvin?" she asked sympathetically, even though he was in deep trouble. She set the tray up and put the bowl on it. "It feels terrible. Like I'm going to barf up my guts." "Don't worry, dear, I have just the thing," she said. "I'm being taken off of punishment and you're buying me a game system?" Calvin's eyes grew wide with hope. "Don't push it, kid," she said. "I brought you some soup and it's time for your medicine." "Oh NO!" he groaned. "Not that! Please! It tastes like sour milk, dinner mints, and bubblegum flavoring all ground up into one horrible concoction, guaranteed to ease stomachaches by forcing them to gag themselves to death! Please, mother! I beg of you! Do not"- GULP! Calvin's mother dumped a capful of it into his mouth. "Gagggggg..." said Calvin. On the floor, Hobbes stifled a snicker. "I don't know who in our family gave you this morbid attitude." She said. "I also have something to tell you." "I only have six months to live?" he said. "Knock it off. Calvin, to ensure this doesn't happen again, your Dad and I have decided to put all the cookies into the cookie jar." "So? We put most of the cookies into the cookie jar anyway." "I'm not finished. The cookie jar, however, will be placed on a high shelf above the refrigerator, so only an adult on the stepstool can get it. Meaning you have to ask before you have any cookies." "WHAT?" Calvin's eyes looked like they were about to pop. "You can't be serious! That is tyrannical! You can't do that!" "Believe me, I can. Now eat your soup." "I'm not through! You can't do this to me! You can't! It's practically child abuse!" "Do you want to be grounded for two weeks?" his Mom asked. He sighed. "Before you go, could you get Hobbes for me?" he asked. "Sure." His Mother picked Hobbes up and presented him to Calvin. "Calvin, why did you draw mustaches on all the characters in this comic book?" she asked. Calvin groaned as he was handed Hobbes. "Now get some rest, OK?" she turned off the light and closed the door. He yawned, growing sleepy from the medicine. He stared around his room; at the afternoon sun peering through the window as it was setting. The covers felt warm and comfortable. He yawned once more and slept until morning. 


	4. Night Terrors

Chapter 4: Night Terrors

"And now, presenting, the amazing Calvin!" the town mayor yelled into the microphone. The crowd roared. Calvin stepped out onto the stage, pausing occasionally to wink at the news cameras. When he finally got to the edge of the stage where the mayor was, he looked down. The entire town was there to see him! People wore hats with pieces of yellow foam glued on them to resemble Calvin's spiky hair. Some held up signs with his name on them. "Calvin," the mayor remarked, "you sure have done a lot for this town! With your genius plan to send Susie Derkins to Mars-"

The audience began to start booing and replacing the Calvin signs with "Susie Stinks" signs. A group of people in the front starting stomping on a Susie dummy. The mayor could barely be heard over the noise. "-slimy girl related diseases have dropped ninety percent. And your plan to abolish schooling and homework has caused the rate of depressed kids to drop like a brick! And your annual Calvin is Great parade is a hit! But one of your best ideas of all was the one entitled Operation: F.A.A.P (Flamethrowers Are Awesome Presents), when you persuaded Santa Claus to give weapons to bad kids and skip the houses of goody-goody children! Calvin, for making this town what it is today, I present you with the occupation of new mayor!" The townspeople cheered as he pinned the official Town Mayor pin on his shirt. When the cheering subsided (after 10 minutes) the former mayor announced, "I also give you THIS!" He pulled a rope. A door opened and out came a cherry red convertible with Hobbes in the driver seat.

"Come on, buddy! Let's go to Vegas!" said Hobbes.

The audience cheered extremly loud. Suddenly, there was a huge cracking noise. Calvin looked behind him to see a large snowy mountain with an avalanche coming in his direction. He tried to move, but his feet seemed to be stuck to the floor. Calvin could only see white snow when it hit him. It was freezing! He felt like he was going to catch hypothermia. It was cold...so cold!

"HEEEELLLPPP MEEEEE!!!" Calvin sat up in bed. "It was a dream. Just a horrible, horrible dream!" He relaxed. "It was just getting good, too. Stupid avalanche!" He looked down to find that his blankets were gone and goose bumps were on his legs. Then he saw Hobbes wrapped up in the blankets on the floor. "Hmmph. He must have been afraid I was going to barf on him or something," said Calvin, remembering his stomachache. His stomach no longer hurt, thank goodness. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs. It was his Mom, probably come to see why he had screamed. He imagined her tucking him in and letting him sleep a few more hours before she called him for breakfast. The footsteps were closer now, outside his bedroom door. "Good morning, Mo- AAAAAAAGGGGHHH!"

It wasn't his Mom. It was Rosalyn. "Why are you screaming, bozo? Are you OK?

She approached the bed, but Calvin just scooted over, trying to reach the baseball bat on the other side of the bed. He finally reached it and swung it at Rosalyn. It made a _swish_ in the air like a ninja sword as it nearly hit her in the nose. "What are you doing in my house? Where are my parents? What have you done with them?"

Rosalyn calmly took the bat and dropped it on the floor. "There was a minor emergency and your parents had to drive to another state. Everything is OK now, but they'll be back in a day."

" I have to spend a day with YOU?"

"Yes, that's right. And I'm not going to put up any funny business, got that? When I say 'jump', you're going to say 'how high?'. Got that?"

Calvin leaped off the bed and shook Hobbes. "Hobbes! Wake up! We have to escape and go to Mexico!"

"Nobody is going to Mexico," said Rosalyn, grabbing Calvin by the back of the shirt. "Now, what do you want for breakfast?"

Thirty minutes later, Rosalyn sat a plate of fried eggs in front of Calvin and Hobbes. "Here. Eat."

"I won't eat this. It's probably poisoned."

"Calvin, you saw me cooking them. There's no way in the world that they can be poisoned."

"What about that stuff you put on them?"

"It was salt, Calvin. Plain old table salt."

"I saw you put something in the salt shaker."

"The salt shaker was almost empty. I was refilling it."

"Oh, yeah? You taste some."

"Fine." Rosalyn tasted the eggs. Nothing happened. "See?"

"Rats. I was hoping we could have stole her cell phone." said Hobbes.


	5. Secret Agent Men

Chapter 5: Secret Agent Men

Afterwards, Calvin finished his breakfast, while Hobbes snuck off to try to find Rosalyn's cell phone. As he stared at the cookie jar, now on a shelf above the counter that was as tall as a refridgerator, an idea suddenly came to him. Maybe, just maybe, his Mom had forgotten to tell Rosalyn about the punishment. "Hey, Rosalyn, I finished my breakfast. Can I have a cookie?"

"Sure, squirt, why not?" Rosalyn began to climb up on a chair to get the jar.

_ YOU WILL GET ME A COOKIE! YOU WILL NOT KNOW ABOUT MY PUNISHMENT!_ _YOU WILL SET THE JAR DOWN ON THE TABLE SO I CAN TAKE IT! THEN YOU WILL GIVE ME TWENTY DOLLARS!_ Calvin silently willed his babysitter. Rosalyn took the jar and gave Calvin a cookie. "Hey, Rosalyn, could you set the cookie jar down on the table."

"Why?" she said.

"Um, so I could admire the beautiful pottery skills and hard work that went into it."

"What do you think I am, an idiot?" she asked suddenly.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" said Calvin.

"Your Mom told me about how you were punished for your little incident, buddy. Looks like your little plan failed." she said, putting the jar on the shelf. "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah."

"Sorry, Madame Moron. It's just that I thought you were as stupid as you looked, so naturally I assumed my plan was a gem."

Apparently, Rosalyn was very sensitive to cracks about her appearance. Her face suddenly turned red and a vein in her forehead was throbbing. "That is the last straw, bucko! Get up to your room right now and don't come out if you want to see the age of twelve!"

"You have to catch me first, you teenage barracuda!" he sneered. "Hahahahahahahaha!" Calvin took off through the house faster than lightning until he found himself back in the kitchen. Rosalyn was gone, no doubt fruitlessly looking for him. "It seems that once again, the grand, exalted Calvin has prevailed over teenage tyranny. What a loser. She'll be lucky if she ever graduates from high school! I bet they'll send her back to elementary school. Maybe then there will be someone who gets worse grades than me! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hello, Calvin." Calvin slowly turned around to see Rosalyn behind him. He gulped.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Calvin grabbed Hobbes, who was digging in Rosalyn's purse for her cell phone, and ran upstairs with Rosalyn in hot persuit. She only stopped chasing him when he bolted in his room, shutting and locking the door. "Wow. That was scary." said Calvin, panting. "She must've taken track this year. Quick, Hobbes. Tie the sheets together and we'll take Rosalyn's car to Kentucky with Mom and Dad."

"No good," said Hobbes. "Her car keys are in her bag."

"Man, she makes me mad! Just because she's older, she thinks she can boss us around."

"Well," said Hobbes, "maybe this doesn't have to be so bad. We'll go downstairs and compromise with her. You both can agree to be nicer to each other. Then maybe we can play Calvinball like we did last time."

"I don't know you." Calvin stared out the window. "I think what we need to do is find a way to take that cookie jar."

"Taking the cookie jar won't solve our problems, you know. Rosalyn will still be mad," Hobbes explained.

"It's not the cookie jar ITSELF, Hobbes. The cookie jar is a symbol. If we take the cookie jar, even though the odds are against us, it will show Rosalyn that we're smarter than her. We're more cunning. We're _better._" A car pulled up in the driveway and beeped the horn two times. Who's that? thought Calvin. Mom and Dad don't have a car like that. Rosalyn came outside and a teenage boy got out. "Hey, it's Charlie!" Calvin remarked. He and Rosalyn started talking.Obviously, they had made up for the incident involving the imaginary "Rich". "Charlie's here! They'll be talking for ages. Now is a perfect time to make a plan to snatch that cookie jar!We'll call it G.R.O.S.S Mission: Sugar Rush!"

"You're nuts. Rosalyn will kill us if we slip up again."

"Come on, Hobbes! It will be like we're secret agents."

"No."

"I have a brand-new box of crayons you can use."

"Throw in some tuna and you have a deal!"

So they went to work. "OK, Hobbes. We need something that will stick to the wall so we can walk up it and grab the jar. Preferably something that includes a miniature helicopter and some firearms for protection."

"Why not something easy, like glue? Or a giant suction cup?" suggested Hobbes.

"That's a good idea! With a set of robot legs with giant suction cups on them, we can't go wrong!"

"Um, I was referring to just tying your feet to suction cups," Hobbes explained.

"You know, Hobbes, you have no imagination. But I suppose your idea is worth trying. Let's think. Where can we get giant suction cups?" Calvin scratched his head. "Hey, how about a plunger?"

"Yeah! Go get them. I'll find some string." But before he left, Calvin checked on Charlie and Rosalyn.

"Still talking," he reported. "I hope they don't start kissing on our front yard or else I might get that stomachache all over again." A little later, Calvin was back with a plunger. "We only have one plunger in the whole house! Can you believe that? My parents are so cheap."

"Guess you'll just have to hop up the wall, then. Here's some yarn. I'll tie your feet to it." said Hobbes, who started wrapping the yarn around his feet and the plunger.

"You'll have to carry me down the stairs. It's hard to move with this on."

Hobbes balanced Calvin on his shoulders all the way to the top of the stairs. "Oof! You must weigh a ton! Did you eat concrete for breakfast or something?"

"Shut up and carry me. At least I don't cough up hairballs."

"Actually, for that insult, I'll just let gravity carry you down the stairs."

"What? What are you doing? Put me down! Stop it! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!" Hobbes threw him down.

Clunk!

"Calvin!" called Hobbes, "Are you O.K?"

"Decide for yourself, you great lunk!" said Calvin. Fortunately, he landed on his feet. Unfortunately, because of the plunger, he was stuck to the floor. "Hobbes! Hobbes! Help me!" Calvin shouted, moving back and forth on the plunger.

"What? First it's 'At least I don't cough up hairballs'," said Hobbes, mimicking Calvin in a whiny voice, "and now it's 'Hobbes! Please help me!' Well, forget it! You can save yourself."

"I'm going to get you for this." Calvin leaned forward, and the plunger came loose with a pop. He fell face-first onto the floor and pulled himself up with the banister. "There. Now come on. There's no time to lose." He hopped into the kitchen and Hobbes followed.

Calvin faced the wall underneath the shelf with the cookie jar. "Well, this is it. If you'll just attach me to the wall, I can start to scale it." Hobbes picked him up and stuck him to the wall.

Calvin tried to hop up the side of the wall, but nothing happened. "Mmmmph! It's not working!" He shook up and down, trying to move. The wooden handle of the plunger came down and clonked Hobbes in the head.

"Owww! Watch out, will you? That hurt!"

"That's payback for heaving me down the stairs!" Finally, after a few more minutes of trying to hop up the wall, Calvin finally sighed. "OK, Hobbes. Take me down. We'll have to think of another plan."

"That's fine with me," said Hobbes, who was now holding an ice pack on his head.He grasped the handle and gave it a sharp tug.

RRRRRRRRIP!

"What was that?" asked Calvin. "It didn't sound too well."

Hobbes finished untying him. "Beats me. Maybe it was...OH MY GOSH!" He stared at the wall. A piece of the wallpaper had been torn off when he had pulled Calvin down.

"Oh no!" said Calvin. "Well never be able to cover this up!" He put the piece of wallpaper back in place, but it was no good. Anyone could tell it had been ripped.

"I think we'd better go and think up another plan. REALLY fast."

"I agree," said Calvin, dashing up the stairs.


End file.
